Archive | November, 2013

If I had a dime for every time……

1 Nov

If I had a dime for every time someone said they knew someone who could make me the next big thing, I could make a nice down payment on the mansion I would be living in if what they said was actually true. 

I really appreciate that there are people who believe in my music and whole-heartedly want to see me in the limelight of fame and fortune, but it’s also comical. One time a lady said she knew someone who was Tim McGraw and Faith Hill’s baby-sitter and she was gonna get my CD in their hands through their baby-sitter. I’m still waiting for the McGraw family to call:)

But in my line of work, you can’t leave any stone unturned. Even though I’ve never had any crazy luck with someone discovering me, there are stories of that kind of thing happening to musicians. Unfortunately, this story is not one of them

Once upon a time, there was a lady in Nashville who found me and wanted to make me the next great singer-songwriter of our generation. She had claimed to be well-connected with many famous country artists, such as Garth Brooks, and if I recorded an album with her business partner–who owned a recording studio–she could take me places.

We talked through email and on the phone for sometime and although I wasn’t convinced any of her claims were true, I was–however–convince by people close to me to give her a shot. What did I have to lose?  Apparently, some money and time.

Her proposal  was that I get together  30,000 dollars to record with him and she’d make me a star. I said no. Then she came down to $20,000. I said no. Then she really dropped her price to a whopping $10,000 (they were cutting me such a deal!  Note the sarcasm) and again, I said no. I told her I don’t know you, I’m not convinced you can do any of those things, I don’t know your business partner or anything about his studio and I don’t have that kind of money to throw around.

From there, she suggested I fly to Nashville and see for myself how well connected she was and how great her proposal would be for me. Up to this point, I had done a good job reading through the bullshit, but again, you never want to leave any stone unturned. So I booked a flight to Nashville (on my dime, not hers. Red flag number one) and booked a hotel that was within walking distance to her partner’s studio (my dime again.  Anyone running a successful  business that is trying to woo a client would have paid for the flight/hotel themselves.  Red flag number 2).

I get to my hotel, hoping this lady is going to take me to this awesome recording studio, then we’d go out to dinner at a fancy restaurant and the wooing will begin. I’m hoping she’s done her homework and has mapped out a plan for our future. But the second I was introduced to her, I knew none of that was going to happen.

She was an older lady in her 60s whose eyesight was going bad and her business partner was actually her boyfriend. They met me at the hotel and we walked across the street to this old run-down building that would be “the studio” I would record my next great album in for 10,000 dollars.

The place was a mess with carpet and equipment older than me.  The water stains on the walls was a nice touch. I thought to myself, “okay, this sucks, but I’m here, so I have to stay positive”

After the grand tour, I asked “where can we go to eat and talk about our future together?”  Her reply?

“Oh, we’re staying at your hotel too.  I can’t drive at night because my eyes aren’t so good.  We can order pizza, have it delivered to our room and have the meeting there.”

I wish I could have left.  It was over and she was a lost cause.  But the cash I spent on flights and hotel weren’t going back into my pocket so I had to follow through with her “plan” even though I wanted to run home ASAP. 

Instead, I sat in their hotel room for about 45 minutes while they laid in bed–stuffing their faces with cheap pizza and watching tv. I shit you not!

I was furious!  Neither had mentioned anything about what their plan was to get my music into the right people’s hands and it was clear that I had been hustled. Don’t get me wrong, I knew it in my gut the whole time, but now it was right there in my face. She wanted my money to help keep her boyfriend’s crappy studio afloat and she had no clue how to make me a “star”.

I poked and prodded (if only to amuse myself) for their “plan” to help my music career and I got little from the conversation. So I excused myself, went back to my room and went to bed. 

The next day, her boyfriend took me back to the airport in his beat-up car filled with McDonalds wrappers and empty soda bottles. He dropped me off, I flew home and never returned her many phone calls wanting that 10,000 dollars. 

So Garth Brooks, if you ever read this, tell “your friend” Jeff says hello and I’m sorry we never got to work together like she promised 🙂